[courage.]

Are you happy?

2012-02-14T06:53:00.001-08:00

Yes. I am happy.

What Made My Day

2012-02-12T00:04:00.001-08:00

A bunch of nothings

2012-02-08T01:55:00.001-08:00

Have you ever listened to someone talk so much that your ears just feel like dropping off?

Aaand you always have to come between and sit so innocently between us, smiley face!

Still... Not caring!

My stomach is being cranky >( because my meal times are messed up.

I laugh at all of your stupidity and how hard you all try.

Still laughing at a picture in the newspaper, but for a completely different reason.

Whenever I eat fried food I think I'm eating bits of poison that will eventually kill me. Not that I really care, fried food day can't really wait.

I'll need to do something with fire soon.

Note to self: buy Valentine's Day presents for friends and family.

Life is picking up;

2012-02-08T01:30:00.001-08:00

now that's better.

Muzwuz

2012-02-06T04:43:00.001-08:00

Hi.

I realize this blog doesn't contain what happened today things. It contains stuff that are on my mind. Stuff that doesn't sound like me, because I'm usually happier than all of this.

Truth is, if someone asked if I was happy, I would say yes. I have a nice family, great friends, a house, fencing and art and all these things to keep me alive. Mostly importantly, yes I have God. It is engraved in my heart that He has a plan for me. I don't regret it. He's been amazing!

I'm blessed and yet I'm not thankful.

2012-02-05T03:19:00.001-08:00

People just shut up and admit you're wrong thank you it would save so much saliva and reduce noise pollution and thus resulting comfort in our ears.

c:

2012-02-04T19:42:00.001-08:00

And tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut;

2012-02-04T08:28:00.001-08:00

Feeling very in the mood to write a profound blog post since I'm sitting on top of the stairs in a dimly lit area, but who am I kidding?
I was never born to do that kind of stuff.
Whenever something goes too complex for me to understand, my mind will just shut off.
Stop thinking.
I function like that.
I think people think too much.
Which is good, I guess, but maybe it would be nice too if life were simpler.
Enough about that stuff.

Anyway! I don't think I've mentioned before, but I take art as my full humans.
It's given me a new perspective on art that I can't really explain.
In a good way of course!
I think it's one of the best decisions I've made because it helps me get by with school life.
Along with Fridays and weekends and friends :)

On another note, I wish humans had a hibernate mode.

Friday!My class (along with 5 other classes) went to Mariana barrage and had a great time there :)
I think out class really bonded through this.. :) yay!
The best part besides the picnic would probably have to be the wind.
The wind was amazing!! (I like wind.)

Sorry for the random, incoherent thoughts.Can't think properly when I've just wasted the entire evening watching mindless television.

Down a correct road,

2012-02-03T04:42:00.001-08:00

I get my priorities right.

I'll never put studies first,

because there are more important things in life.

I will survive.

2012-02-01T04:02:00.001-08:00

I'm only going to fall when I say I'm going to fall.

Being Petty

2012-02-01T03:50:00.001-08:00

Oh I'm amazing at being petty. But seriously though, skip this.

OH WOW. So you're all snuggly huh?
Being all sweet and kind and nice. Oh you could have fooled me, because you just WENT THERE. CROSSED THE LINE.
You know, you'll never really go where I went. You're just walking easily up the footpath that I created. Taking away slowly but surely what I had. Trying to be inclusive in your nice exclusive club I will never fit into.

Next rant.

Please stop. Okay just stop.
Stop copying me, it's painfully obvious.
All these years okay, I've known.
Stop with the fandom, with the humour, with the friends OH MY GOODNESS YES STOP WITH THE FRIENDS LADY.
I want to scream when I see your face.

A part of me just wants to run away. Just remember them as good ol' memories down when we were young and free and blah blah yadah yadah because I get really, really sad when I see a party started by me that just got more fun and I'm just.. not in the party anymore.

But there are things worth staying for, so yes, I still will.

:'/

2012-01-30T04:26:00.001-08:00

I like the dark.
Comfort.

I think I do math problems better when I'm not exactly the most happy. Less careless. Maybe I don't want to make anymore mistakes. Or be so careless as to let it slip from my fingers.

Not upset, not angry.
Down? Perhaps.
Ah. Depressed.

Not this time.

2012-01-28T07:51:00.001-08:00

I've done it before, but I won't do it again.
I've gotten a second chance, now I'll need to seize it.
I. Won't. Screw. Up. This. Time.

I won't let it slip away like I did last time.
I won't live in the past and ponder how things could have been better.
I. Won't. Screw. Up. This. Time.

This is a promise,
that I will fight,
that I will be strong,
and have the courage to go on.

You&Me

2012-01-28T03:06:00.001-08:00

It will always be me and you.
Us against the world.

Even though we never made sense,
We could just possibly be the happiest people on earth.

><

2012-01-26T03:33:00.001-08:00

CNY

2012-01-24T07:46:00.001-08:00

Second Day of CNY

And I'm sitting on the kitchen floor of my parent's friend's house with my mother's iPhone plugged into the charger, away from the blackjack gambling scene, where everyone else is gathered round, hoping that the banker will lose.

I'm not angry or anything, just that for the past few rounds I've been proven as bad luck, or a horrible gambler. I don't make stupid decisions or anything, I'm just terrible luck..

Oh, my mother just won forty bucks. An ace and a queen. Sweet. She'd promise she'd split the earnings.. :)

It's just nice to be documenting the scene from the cold kitchen floor. Frankly I look like some sort of hobo under a kitchen counter. Sitting under lotus buns and kuei lapis.

Whatever.

Thinking about it, I never really cared about what others thought of me. Last time I was super obsessed over it, but then I realized I was just wasting a few weeks of my life and lots of brain power just fretting over it. So now it's cool.

So nowadays I just don't care, except for the ones worth changing for. The ones worth talking to and the ones worth my time. Basically the ones I love.

That's why I don't like small talk. Or suck ups or people who create-wonderful-first-impressions-but-really-aren't-so-wonderful-kind-of-people.

I like genuine. Although I may not seem so to others, I don't know. Whatever.

Ehhh, straying away.

So anyway, woah. Straying away!

I'm going to stand behind the dealer and hopefully get him to lose some money.

So long.

2012-01-24T03:32:00.001-08:00

Intelligent

Well-rounded
Outstanding
Name-maker
'
Talented

have you seen my room?

2012-01-22T06:53:00.001-08:00

Not that anyone reads my blog anyway.

But anyway! This has been a dream of mine. Kinda. To decorate my room. ish.

But anyway I love it! Maddy and I did it together I think we're a bit mad heh.

DOUBLE RAINBOW!

2012-01-21T03:09:00.001-08:00

Now I know why the double rainbow dude was so excited.

2012-01-20T20:48:00.001-08:00

Thank God it's the long weekend,

I'm really in need of a break right now.

dont get your hopes up too high.

2012-01-17T05:57:00.001-08:00

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
-Matthew 17:20

Just one day of faith can bring so much, I finally understand this verse. His power is so mind-blowing it's pretty amazing.

2012-01-15T00:43:00.000-08:00

I think I would be great friends with myself.
I wish I could meet her someday.
She's one of the few people who believe in me.

my mind, in two sides.

2012-01-15T00:34:00.000-08:00

Congratulations.

You have just wasted more than a third of your life.

You never could.

Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. weak. stupid.

So what. What you are going to do now?

Honestly, I don't know..

What if it was just a little bit more.

With all the work you've done and all the emotions you've felt.

It can't possibly go to waste.

Come on man, pull yourself together.

Honestly, I don't know if I can..

2012-01-11T05:59:00.001-08:00

watching Quest Crew dance makes me happy :)

finally at peace.

2012-01-11T03:18:00.001-08:00

for now.

1. Wear Domo socks. And shoes, of course.
2. Sneak out of the house.
3. Start music playlist.
3. Breathe.
3. Take flight. Or just run.
4. Run slow.
5. Run fast.
6. Use park's equipment.
7. Exercise to the beats of song.
8. Look up. It's amazing.
9. Watch the sun go down.
10. Go home.

Tuesday

2012-01-10T05:09:00.001-08:00

School was.. normal I guess.
Not most interesting year.

Kinda miss my friends from the other class. Where they kinda forgot about me. Making a nice circle. But for the record I knew each person/pair in the circle before any of you did. You know, just saying.
But it's okay I have friends here.

Our teachers are generally good teachers. Not that I love then or they are the kindest people everrrr yeahhh!!!!!!!!, but teachers with good teaching styles. Or at least styles that fit me.

I finally signed up for a not reject ISO this year this year whooo! I hope it won't turn out like last year's bad memories eughh.

Also just found out that carrying out the event for SLs is only one third through the process.. >< don't get me wrong, it's amazingly fun but supremely tiring asdkfj. Well at least I am one stage through!
Optimists are sometimes very stupid people. Get their hopes up for nothing. And they know this, they just have this desire to keep going.

So anyway I took of my braces on Friday! Had an x ray for my retainers I think x ray rooms are cool. I saw an x ray of my teeth and I couldn't help but notice my lips stick out like a goldfish in the x ray. That must be how I look all the time. Like a goldfish.

So anyway Imma sleep now before the panda eyes kick in. Night~

2012-01-09T00:08:00.001-08:00

I have three months to do the almost impossible.

Okay.
Let's go.

Maddy, me and a bunch of posters.

2012-01-07T07:00:00.001-08:00

What have we done..

Parents.

2012-01-06T06:50:00.001-08:00

My parents are amazing. Period.

Always ranting against them but don't appreciate them enough.

It is friday,

2012-01-06T02:27:00.001-08:00

and finally some sort of peace.

asking.

2012-01-05T05:49:00.001-08:00

Hi.
I am a relatively good student. I pay attention 60% of the time, I do my homework, my grades are great. I study very hard for exams. Just like you want me to. I don't get into trouble much, although I don't stand out much either. But that's not my fault, because I don't want to. I just want to be happy. Or either that society hates me. So anyway I don't skip classes, I go for the tuitions to improve my grades that I am already satisfied with. I go to sleep before 11 and I always make sure I hug you everyday.
Hi.
If you haven't noticed I've been living in the house as a pretty considerate family member. Whatever things you want someone else to do, you call me first. Why? Because I'm the most easygoing. I occasionally leave a mess, but I'm the family member that has fought in the least arguments. I do everything to make sure the majority is happy, or at least everyone. I do whatever you tell me to do without putting up a fight. I am generally a peacemaker. I also make sure I hug you everyday.
Hi.
In case you haven't noticed, I've been doing everything I can to just be generally an acceptable person. So if you don't mind spending a few hundred on fees a month, I'd really appreciate that. I have made sufficient time for the activity, so all I just need is funding. I don't mind if you cut my allowance, I'm pretty cool with bringing sandwiches to school, even though you know how much I hate bread, and how much I love food. I can make the trips to the stated destination myself everytime I'd you wish, lug my heavy bag all the way in from the main road. So yeah. I'm just asking for this request.

I can't actually voice this out because, yes. I am a coward. Or maybe just too easygoing or something.
The most I can manage an 'uhh' or a 'oh' even though it's something I deeply desire right now. Whenever you say something that really affects me by saying I don't achieve results or that it's too expensive/time-consuming, my heart just cracks a little. Then when I'm alone I do my bit of crying and then come out looking fine. Sometimes it can really suck. Just saying. I'm not emotional at all when it comes to other things.

So hi.
I do sound a tad bit selfish, and it seems like I'm asking for a lot. But Think about it. I don't ask for much usually, do I? You know. Just saying.

Messed up,

2012-01-04T04:10:00.001-08:00

Chasing silly dreams,

Wanting to be the centre.

Gather as much attention as you can,

Be the star of someone else's show.

You're so outstanding, too bad I'm only happy :)

2012-01-02T04:43:00.001-08:00

Not broken, shattered.

Boomboomboom.

2011-12-30T20:24:00.001-08:00

And there 2011 goes.

2011-12-29T08:27:00.001-08:00

I'm not as strong as you.
Or as skillful.
Or smart.

I can't do the things you do so well.

things you do so effortlessly, I have to try.

While you have so many achievements, I struggle to produce even one.

And I've been thinking this,
For a long time.

But I learnt, slowly and carefully.
And very, very painfully.

Not to dwell on the past.
To be strong and carry on.
Small steps.

What they say is all true.
But only drilled into your brain when you feel it too.

So well, yeah.
I'm completely invisible next to you.

I'm not just smarter, I'm wiser.

I've got heart, I've got story.

So watch out.

Running from a Warzone.

2011-12-29T03:14:00.001-08:00

I'll cope.

defying gravity

2011-12-27T22:25:00.001-08:00

Eww you.

2011-12-26T22:04:00.001-08:00

You're selfish.

You're a suck up.

You're a whiner.

Perhaps it would be best for everyone, even your family if you just weren't here.

safe and sound

2011-12-25T23:36:00.001-08:00

just close your eyes
the sun is going down
you'll be alright
no one can hurt you now
come morning light
you and i will be safe and sound

I thought Taylor Swift wasn't very suitable for the Hunger Games but I really like this song.

Christmas.

2011-12-25T19:13:00.001-08:00

Merry belated Christmas!

Jogged over to qimin's house to give her her Christmas prezzie, then she comes over to my house to give me my Christmas prezzie (thnx qi! Love the socks!)

Church. (finally found the title of one of my favourite unnamed tunes)

Good food and family and dinner and a pack of cards.

Nice Christmas.

Running in the Rain.

2011-12-24T06:45:00.001-08:00

Do you have the urge to just one day run as far and as fast as you can?

Just run away from the world, to nowhere.

I ran away from the house this evening for a while. (because christmas eve somehow always ends up as PACKING DAY) It was drizzling when I left and when I came back I was soaked to the bone!

But it's a wonderful feeling to just keep running especially in the rain when you are drenched but you haven't reached the point of cold.

Combining two nice things. Running and rain. Like nutella and digestives biscuits. Or sisters and playing cards (throw in a bag of chips and we'll be as happy as anyone could be.)

I think I really like running.

2011-12-23T16:14:00.001-08:00

IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE! :)

Looking forward to some good good food tonight, and hopefully opening those prezzies under the tree at 12 am ;)

Merry Christmas Eve!

Stuff to make you go awww

2011-12-23T02:47:00.001-08:00

the last picture is a joke;

it's just a horribly unglam photo of Goofy at a Disney parade.

Future kid

2011-12-22T05:13:00.001-08:00

To my future kid,
If I ever have one.

1. You will have at least one sibling. That sibling is going to make your life terrible majority of the time but it will be worth it.

2. You will have to take up a sport. I will sign you up for fencing classes and I will be there at 90% of your comps cheering you on, no matter how embarrassing i will be.

3. If you hate sports, you will have to take up some sort of performing art or fun activity, because I don't want you to turn into a crazy studying machine,

4. And whatever you are going to do, I will support you all the way.

5. I will never let you read these books called classics if you don't want to. Because i have never read them myself. BUT you will have to read Harry Potter (or at least just the first book if you don't like the series which I highly doubt will happen)

6. Your house will have a room of nerfs.

7. You won't get cable tv until you're twelve (I'm so sorry)

8. I will freaking support you in any sport or performing art. Have I said that already?

See ya one day perhaps.

eighteen miles of books.

2011-12-22T02:39:00.001-08:00

I admit, I used to hate reading.

Until I appreciated Harry Potter, and began the Hunger Games series.

The Hunger Games sparked my interest in reading about Dystopian societies, so I got all these books from The Strand at half price :)

What's not to love about exciting half priced books? Emphasis on HALF PRICE!!! (true blue Singaporean)

And to be honest I am quite excited that The Chrysalids, a book about a Dystopian society, is our lot book next year. Definitely an improvement!

Well hey, everything beats Romeo and Juliet haha.

Uhh Wimpy Kid is another story, but I seriously love that series :)

Pestered my mum to buy me Cabin Fever hee.

2011-12-20T18:10:00.001-08:00

View from a train.

2011-12-15T12:59:00.000-08:00

Ughhhh I am so shallow..

I didn't understand the Phantom of the Opera much..

My brain just can't handle all of this.
The musical, I mean.
The shallow part has been a known fact for a long time.

Okay actually in my defense uhh they were kinda singing in their conversations and I couldn't really hear them.

Also I don't like opera very much.

And I was super distracted when the Phantom took off his mask cuz, he looked kinda scary and he didn't comb his hair!
It was sticking out in all directions.

Yeah and uhh I also fell asleep at one point..

And when I woke up nothing had changed!
The dudes were still singing about the same thing and Maddy had to nudge me awake even though I didn't feel it?

If I can't even get the story right from watching the musical, I'm not sure how I'm going to survive lit in sec 3

2011-12-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

The stores of all stores.

The playground of the 21st century.

Flagship of Apple.

Oh yessss.

2011-12-12T13:03:00.001-08:00

Hi.

I can't write very well.

I've seen the essays my peers write. They flow, and they flow so smoothly like how the icing comes out perfectly on a cake, but that only happens on tv, because my friend and I have actually tried it, but it just comes out blob by blob and so your cake doesn't turn out as great as you expected, but it was mighty fun and I'm going completely off topic.

(told you I can't write well.)
(forgive me for using the icing analogy, I'm really hungry right now and I am craving for a piece of cake :3)

So I can't.
One of the reasons why I don't write long posts often.
Another reason would be I don't want to sound like a philosopher.
The last reason would be that err, whenever I write long posts it always gets lost in cyberspace somewhere and I don't want to retype it again.
(yes I know what drafts is but I'm serious, the post is never there!)

Okay yeah so I can't.
My vocab and grammar stanks, mai spalling iz atrosious, and no matter what I write about, it never flows:(
Okay fine my grammar and spelling isn't that bad, but it is quite bad.

But you know, I wouldn't change a thing about my writing.

because.. It's written by me :)

2011-12-10T19:47:00.001-08:00

I went to the holocaust museum yesterday.

That place was sad.

You know when you see the number of people who have passed away in like wars and disasters?

It didn't quite register as much as seeing the shoes of a fraction of the people who died in the holocaust.

There were shoes everywhere.

memory.

2011-12-08T20:03:00.000-08:00

I told myself,

I run because I want to.

I don't know how I happened,

But it just did.

2011-12-02T18:57:00.000-08:00

Apparently the elephant has the second longest childhood out of all the animals.

Even though humans have the longest childhood,

I haven't quite had enough.

2011-11-29T17:22:00.000-08:00

Praying,

I've been praying more.

This week had been crazy wicked amazing.

2011-11-27T17:57:00.000-08:00

The only constant is change.

2011-11-26T18:08:00.000-08:00

MADE IT!

2011-11-25T06:42:00.001-08:00

flying off now.

i hope i don't puke.

:x

2011-11-23T21:45:00.000-08:00

TOMORROW
TOMORROW
TOMORROW
TOMORROW
TOMORROW

ALFKSLDF

2011-11-20T00:12:00.000-08:00

I got a haircut today!
What's new.

At first when they washed it and finished cutting, I thought it looked really cool and badass like, but when it dried off I still looked the same.

2011-11-19T06:09:00.000-08:00

if you were going to lose your leg tomorrow, are you going to sit around and mope around or are you going to do some awesome air kicks?

i ate crabs that mum bought for dinner!
it was delicious!
it was so good i didn't even mind it gave me a cut on my index finger as revenge.

training was awesome today!
and it was guy's training, which is saying something.
oh no no no if you are thinking something else.
i meant that
usually i'm very awkward there cos i'm the only girl.

but all trainings are fun:)
today was funner than usual!
li-ing was there- so i wasn't the only girl!

and today i fenced great!
and i kept screaming and everybody today was laughing more even coach!

ah i will miss this.
;_;

no it's not goodbye.
not really.

2011-11-18T21:34:00.000-08:00

Eeks the format for the last few posts have been screwed up.
Sorry! ><

Things I have been doing:
1. Art.
So. many. art. lessons.
2. Maple!
When I was younger I used to spell it as mapple hahaha.
Its so easy to level up now!
Last time it took 3 months to get to level 30, and now it's just one week to get to level 40.
3. Training.
Best part of my holidays.
4. Television.
How I met your mother and antm 17, latest episode won't load fast asdfgjkl
5. Planning.
EXCITEMENT!

2011-11-18T02:50:00.001-08:00

When she was just a girlShe expected the worldBut it flew away from her reach soShe ran away in her sleep And dreamed of para-para-paradise.

2011-11-17T06:02:00.001-08:00

Yes I know.It's safe here.This way is tried and tested by everyone.You want the best for me.But I want to fly.Let me make mistakes! Let me screw up.Let me learn.Okay maybe..I won't be as successful, or rich.But I'll get to live.And I won't regret it.

2011-11-14T21:34:00.001-08:00

Cry in the toilet.After 5 seconds clean yourself up, check no red nose or puffy eyes.Ok clear.'Easy win lah.'Everyone knows subconsciously you suck.Sometimes it slips out in their words.Slowly you start believing it too.The light just won't come on.No matter how much you try.Cry. Cry some more in the shower.Sit in the dark.The dark is so comforting..I should just sit here forever.Look outside at street lamps.Have so much tears welled up in your eyes the lights start to dance.Want to be angry at somebody.But knowing there's no one to blame it yourself.For letting go so easily.Giving up, when they haven't given up on me.And I won't do it again.I will fight.

2011-11-11T20:07:00.001-08:00

I lost.

2011-11-10T19:31:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was kinda both one of the worst and best days of my life.I was at this awesome place with an awesome someoneBtw, thanks for much for inviting me, can't thank you enough xAnd we were having an awesome timeYes, my vocab sucks.while we were there, i got into huge trouble with parents because i forgot about Chinese tuition that day.You know those kind of peopleWho over think everythingExpecting all sorts of crap to happenWhen nothing really happens?Yeah I'm one of those people.So anyway I got a text from my Chinese teacher.And I spent the rest of the whole time at this awesome place not able to fully enjoy the awesomeness.Stupid me.Because I was thinking too much.About how much trouble I would be in when I got home.Went for training afterwards.It has this awesome effect to make me forget everything else.Forget reality.Then on the way home..I LOST MY PHONEThank goodness a really nice man found it and my mum and I went o his house to pick it up.I admit, I'm so lucky.Safe from trouble.At least for now.Wrapped up my day with an episode of antm.

2011-11-07T06:46:00.000-08:00

Victories today were silent.Proving voices in my head they were wrong.

2011-11-06T04:42:00.000-08:00

Aunnual Camp!
was better than I thought.

My group was pretty cool :)

The games were awesome!

The Christmas play was finally over and it was great!
Thank goodness!
At least it sounded good from backstage, where all the log comm people looked like ninjas.

It's so worrying that next year we will be sec 3s and we will have to plan all this ohmy.

I keep thinking about sec three life and it seems not so good because there are so many things going on.

Pooh.

2011-11-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

Stuffthatisonmymindthatineedtogetoutbecausewowitisreallycrampinhere.

1) Agenda for this weekend: survive.

2) I know you will never see this.

Thus I write to you.

Stop laughing whenever you see me.

I'm not exaggerating.

You do laugh whenever you see me.

I'm not even THAT funny.

Everytime you see me you have this quiet laugh..

Seriously it is getting on my nerves okay!

At first I thought its some awkward laugh thing but it's been a few weeks already!

Doesnt help when I see you everyday.

2i) I think it's just me.

When something pisses me off I remain annoyed even at the simplest of things even like, breathing or just walking past me sigh.

3) Hey. Hello. Hi you.

I really wish I could spend time with you alone.

3i) I think it's just me.

You may not know this, but I do get jealous really easily.

4) I love the Hunger Games.

Reread it for the umpteenth time!

Really can't wait for the movie.

5) Britney Spear's songs are being stuck in my head O_o

I-I-I wanna go-o-o~

WHY???

2011-11-02T07:36:00.000-07:00

It's nice seeing someone living their dream.

2011-11-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

Mischief Managed ;)

2011-11-01T05:58:00.000-07:00

It was Halloween yesterday.

The moon was hiding behind the clouds, the night was cool.

It was nice. We walked around the neighborhood to see other people dress up, not that we did.

The best costume had to be the box head man from the party rock anthem music video haha.

Also, a bunch of kids didn't walk from house to house to get candy. Their parents DROVE them. In CARS. (okay fine their parents couldn't have driven them in any other vehicle)

When I was ten I used to go do these things.

Get free candy.

I kinda miss it.

Anyone want to join me next year? :D

2011-10-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

MG FUNFAIR!

was awesome.

The haunted house done by the sec 1s was pretty good!

I think it scared hyma the most hahaha.

The meteorite was crazy too!

As much as it was such a rip off, I loved it!

I bet that stall earned the most money.

After we went to play and eat we took over the Milk Churn shift!

It was quite fun, even though we wanted to go walk around more.

Milk churn is basically rolling balls into a hole.

Not as easy as it sounds!

Haha the little kids that played the games were so cute^^

We kept pushing the balls in when they missed so they would not be sad haha:)

Our last customer was an awesome old man who was alone.

He was super nice and sweet!

Idk he seemed lonely and I felt a little sad.

I do hope he's not lonely.

I remember last year's funfair we had to bring the elderly people around.

I was super sad when one of the old men bought a 3B Chinese textbook for his grandson!

Idk he seemed lonely too and he really cares for his kid.

I do hope he's not lonely, too.

2011-10-28T07:57:00.000-07:00

AWESOME TELEVISION THINGS.

1. How I Met Your Mother

I am embarking on a six season journey!

Just wasting my life away haha,

At least I'm not like my sister, who is currently hooked on MINESWEEPER.

I mean, if you want to waste your life on a game go waste it on World of Warcraft or Maple, not MINESWEEPER.

Maddy: I'm not going to bathe until I finish this expert minesweeper.

Me: then you are going to be a very smelly person.

Maddy: by the time you come back from church I will be smelling like roses!

A few minutes later when I'm about to leave for church..

Maddy: Marianne Marianne! I'm going to bathe now!!

2. America's Next Top Model

I know, I would be one of the last people on earth to watch that show.

But it is really cool and the photos are super pretty and artsy!

I was really sad when Kayla got out this week because she was really outstanding in her cycle.

Can't say the same for Bianca though, sorry.

I was really confused with this cycle though.

It's not really a modeling competition, with all that perfume and song recording and acting..

Hmmm..

I think I will stop watching antm after this cycle is over.

3. Modern Family

Maddy and I have been on a Modern Family episode spam.

And In season 3 there is going to be a new Lily!

She is so cute! And she is going to have speaking parts! ^^

4. Glee

I wasn't too excited about Glee season 3 at first, but after..

- Brittany's awesome cover of Run The World

- Glee Project Winner Damian Mcginty as RORY,

I'm super excited! :D

5. The Walking Dead

I don't actually watch this show, but in the middle of cell at 9:55pm..

Robyn: hey, whose phone is buzzing so madly?

Me: oooops.

Turns out it's my mother, and she needs me to GO TO THE CARPARK NOW so she can send me home because walking dead season 2 starts at 10pm and she wants to watch it haha.

I have never seen her so punctual.

Tells me to get in the car! Like those movies where the main characters embark on a heist;

Then she drives at this insane speed and I am gripping on to the arm rest in the car just incase and then we come home just in time because the walking dead had just started :)

On a side note, the make up for the walking zombies are pretty good.

2011-10-24T07:59:00.001-07:00

LTC is finally over!Don't get me wrong, I absolutely enjoyed it! But it was pretty exhausting.Everyone's aching all over!ESP for the sec 2 prefects..Wow. Imagine how tired they are!My group was pretty awesome:) Yay aquamarine! The first meeting was quite awkward, then we all gre warmer and warmer and it was very nice:)I really learnt a lot from this camp..The whole experience was amazing and I thought I had grown.Quite a bit. I'm taller than Jacq now, haha.But you know what I mean.This doesn't sound like me, but it's true.I doubt I will be a student leader though,Because I kinda felt I wasnt too outstanding or student leader-ish? Idk.But regardless of whatever that happens this is a whole new chapter.Hey speaking of new, I'm tall now!Not really.

2011-10-21T07:35:00.001-07:00

I amaze myself.

My procrastination skills have improved greatly.

From blogging to packing my table (??) ..

I think post exam days are just as stressful as exam days.

The reality of your life comes back.

But I think I have a clearer picture of what I want to do now.

Art and half lit.

At least I got that out of the way:)

The uncertainty of the future scares me.

I'm just going to leave it all in Your hands,

Because I've done it before and it all works out.

Because I know that you'll give me

just enough strength to live for today

So I'll never have to worry what tomorrow will bring

Because my faith is on solid rock

I'm COUNTING ON GOD

Love that song.

2011-10-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

it's time to decide
and to face what i have been avoiding
for four years.
it's time to come clean,
no more secrets.
it is time to
get it off my chest.

i am so so so so scared.
but i've never been this certain about something.

i hope i have the courage.

2011-10-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

Things I've been doing

Eating.

Chasing a butterfly. Seriously. I was late because I was running after this little guy.

Watching TV. Lots of it.

Dandelions :)

Doing stupid stuff like this. And going out with extremely cool people.

h, d, r, a, s.

Oh and also getting my results back.

And packing Yunnan winter clothes (very dusty but fun haha)

Please excuse the last picture.

I always look weird in photos and I've learnt to accept that.

2011-10-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

Just when I had a bad day,
God gave me a wonderful training yesterday.

thank you.
it means a lot to me.

2011-10-18T00:49:00.001-07:00

I am getting weaker and weaker.I can feel it.It's like I've been stuck on the same square for so long.Going in circles.I'm fading away while the opposition is getting stronger.It doesn't really help that there's so much negative energy around me.It stinks. It really does.Maybe one day I'll make it.Maybe one day I won't.

2011-10-18T00:41:00.001-07:00

YESTERDAYContrary to most people, I like Sports Day.I like running very fast for a short while.It gives you adrenaline.You can feel the wind.And the sun :)I like.Yesterday was pretty fun. Blackmore won for the first time in a very, very long time!:)And our class won 2nd in the class relay!Not bad for a class who is supposed to be nerdy huh.I took part in the 100m race and the result was very unexpected.I felt really bad for her though.I saw her go ahead of me first through the corner of my eye.TODAYWe got out results back! I think I did pretty well. I wish they would just dump all our results back on us on one day. Things would be easier.I don't really want to go to school tomorrow.Sigh.

2011-10-16T00:15:00.000-07:00

Switched back to the old blogger interface :)

I know. It's so boring. But I like it :)

It's very me.

Don't get me wrong, I loved the other skin.

It was prettier, brighter and better.

But idk, there was something about it that was not very me.

Maybe it was the birds in the background.

Maybe it was the way 'adrenaline' was written.

In any case, it bothered me.

If you know what I mean.

Probably not.

I'm weird like that. oh well.

Maybe I should just design a skin myself.

I have lots of ideas on how my blogskin would look like.

But that takes time and effort and an immense amount of non-existent IT skills..

I can't even cope in IT class, I have to keep pestering Lorraine on how to 'get rid of the marching ants' on photoshop because I'm just an IT idiot like that. oh well.

On a side note, I would have never passed IT without Lorraine. Thank you so much :')

2011-10-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

WE HAVE COMPLETED ISO.
I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
well that's at least what we think.
we'd better be right.
or else.

Been procrastinating for 3 hours before I forced myself to get down and do this iso project.
My sister and I were lip-syncing to Friday.
Can you believe it??
We stopped halfway.
We realised then it was a stupid song.
The last hour i did some serious chionging.
It was so serious the room suddenly got hot.
Handed in the project.
Yes!

It has been a really trying 9 months.
We changed our topic 4 times.
We stayed up till late on Monday nights even on exams dates just to finish our project.
(because everyone knows ISO sessions are on tuesdays, and work done the night before is best. because it is fresh.)
We left each ISO session more frustrated than the previous one.
We almost hit breaking point together.
But now, we are so so so so so so so so so so freaking free.
FREE I TELL YOU. FREE.

but i would like to thank my group
because we have been shot down so many times
week after week and we still get up together
thank you for your persistence
and thank you for making iso bearable.
you guys are an amazing lot.

2011-10-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

ughh i'm sick.

whenever I cough I feel like I'm just barfing my intestines out.

i keep making these rasping noises to check if my throat's okay.

there is a lot of tissue paper in the bin.

pretty gross.

but on another note,

I'm really sorry.

Being sick is no excuse to be mean, or rude.

My attitude was pretty disgusting.

So I'm really sorry if I offended you, or anyone, because,

I was just having a very long and bad day.

2011-10-11T04:54:00.000-07:00

I realised I've been going on full speed blogging this month.
Like, do I have a lot to say or something?
Well I usually blog the most during exams,
and since its EOYs.. That explains it.

Exams are unofficially over.
There's Chinese Ting Li tomorrow, but it doesn't really count because you don't need to study very much.
So we went to KAP. Since we were let off so early Macs still had the breakfast menu on.

Alicia: What's your tumblr url?
Me: Oh, it's ilikefuzzythings.
Sheryl: SO YOU LIKE MEE??
-starts waving arms in pure delight while Ina stares, horrified-

Its nice to relax, you know?
But I don't think I won't be very relaxed anyway, after the exams.
There are other things in my life that still bug me and make me so exhausted exams don't add much to the already piling stress level.

The best part of exams are after the exams.
The worst part is also after, when you get your results back.
And those results are going to contribute to so much more.

Although I laughed away these sad stuff by watching hilarious clips from the Ellen Show.
Had a good 3 hours laughing.

You know it's so awful when you are stuck in a room full of people and you are just on your computer, with your headphones on.
And you are just laughing and laughing away to yourself because it's so funny.
But other people don't see that so they are just seeing a girl in hysterics when nothing has really happened in their world.
I did that for AVPM, AVPS and now, these Ellen clips.
My sister said I sound horrible when I do that.
Then I try to do it silently, but that doesn't work out either.
It just makes me hungrier, and it looks like I'm vibrating.

Gahh I'm so hungry.
Imma get some food.
Woah long post.
K bye:)

Memory

2011-10-10T00:58:00.000-07:00

We were in the Clementi campus.
Sitting nearer the back of the class, so that Lao shi wouldn't see us.

Just fooling around.
While the rest were obsessed about getting points on some strange Chinese website.

'I bet there isn't a website about chairs!'
Said one of our eight year old selves.
'Neither do I,' the other responded.
'who would want to dedicate a whole website about chairs?'

I grabbed the keyboard and typed in 'chairs.com'
We laughed so hard because the website actually existed.

Now everything's changed.
The campus, our friendship and even the website! haha.
But it's okay.
At least I have these memories to hold onto.

2011-10-08T07:56:00.000-07:00

Hey Sheryl,

Thanks for the call.
I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life at first.
But now I kinda know.
Just wait til the time comes.
Before I decide.
Stick to my passion.

You said you weren't a good advisor,
but i think what you really meant was that you were a great one.
I'm worried about it too, but we will have to try.
That includes you too.

Thank you.
I hope you know that this thank you runs deeper than the surface.

2011-10-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

WOAH idk why I am posting so much nowadays.

Things to do:
Be kinder.
More hardworking.
Make a difference in someone's life.
Have more determination.
Travel to Africa.

2011-10-07T03:20:00.000-07:00

The rain confuses me.
It goes from a pitter patter than to a huge thunderstorm in five seconds.
And the within the next two seconds the thunderstorm is back to drizzles.
Oh man watching the rain is a good way of procrastinating.

End of years are always awful.
They make you think of the future.

I don't know what subject combi I want to take.
Toss up between full Geog and full history.
And then taking art is another question.

I don't know which JC I want to go into.

I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Worst of all, I don't know if I have to quit what I like doing.
That thought scares me the most.
Then I have this awful sinking feeling when I think about it.
Usually I get it in school at about 1pm.

Oh wait. I haven't mentioned the worst of all.
Choosing.
Something like choosing between your family members.
You want to keep both.

Arghh so many questions.
Hey sport science sounds cool for an area of research.

2011-10-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

can i tell you a secret?

i like to dance alone.

2011-10-05T03:13:00.000-07:00

Mike Chang is my new favourite character.
(glee things.)

I get what he's going through.
It's how I'm feeling much of the time!
Always so worried, doing everything in my power so I can continue whatever I enjoy doing.

I wish my happy ending would come though.
Please hurry.

2011-10-03T05:52:00.000-07:00

God.

The warmth your family brings.

Fresh Air.

The friendship and laughter.

Fencing.

Doing the things you love doing.

The freedom you have when you run your hardest.

Food. Really, really good food.

The difference you will make in other people's lives.

Creating my own art.

Those really bad jokes.

The sound of voices in worship.

Rain.

Getting something right for the first time.

The generations to come.
(yeah i want kids)

Seeing people smile.

Hugs.

That perfect song.

Just saying.
There is so much to live for.

2011-10-03T05:43:00.000-07:00

There's another side out you
that I never knew
Genuinely
You move me.

2011-10-02T04:54:00.000-07:00

I know this sounds like a very cliche post, but
I'm tired of being judged by you.
I avoid all contact with you.
Answer you with the least words possible.
Don't even look you in the eye.

Why?
Because you always have something to say.
You have to comment on my shirt.
My shoes.
My speech.
My face.
My words.

Just stop talking. Please.

You think you're very funny.
You try to force me to say something witty.
You aren't, you can't.

I am so tired of you.
This is harsh.
But I've been feeling like this for over 5 years now.
You won't read this.
But just to let someone know.

2011-09-28T06:40:00.000-07:00

What am I going to do with my life.
What's next?

2011-09-27T00:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday was pretty fun!
As part of the F1 tradition we always have, my family once again drove over to marina to see fast cars zoom by.
We don't actually buy the ticket..
We just drive by the highway and you can see it already.
I saw a red one and a few white ones!
And the noise! It is quite cool.
I liked today because I thought everyone in the family had fun.
And we were together. You know?
I was just more than happy.
Of course nothing's complete without Mel.
But she'll be back! And maybe we'll do more fun things as a whole family:)

2011-09-25T01:46:00.000-07:00

You are straying away.
Come back to the world.
Where people love you.

2011-09-23T03:52:00.000-07:00

Today

Language arts and biology teachers not in school today.
I would be really happy, but its kinda mean to celebrate when they aren't he-

PARTY HARD.

so it was great! Then it wasn't so good.
Sheryl and I went to the washroom before music.
When we came back the class was gone.
So we were like, ok. Let's go to the music room.
BUT THEY WERE NOT THERE.
I suggested to go to the playground, because I thought they would be filming some music thing there.
BUT THEY WERE NOT THERE.
Sheryl and I are starting to panic, so we checked the primary dance studios because we have Chinese dance during music now.
BUT THEY WERE NOT THERE.
then we met van's sister along the way
And told her if she had seen our class because they were MIA.
And that we were lost. In our own school.
And she said no I haven't seen them.
Then her friends stared at us really crazy because..
HOW CAN YOU GET LOST IN YOUR OWN SCHOOL.
By this time we were HORRIFIED
WHERE WERE THEY.
we scoured through the school, going back to the classroom, back to the music room, the canteen, playground, sports complex, bamboo courtyard, secondary hall, science labs, lecture theatres, staff room, IT labs and the auditorium.
THEY WERE NOT THERE.
By this time we were HYSTERICAL.
WE SEARCHED ALMOST THE WHOLE SCHOOL FOR TWENTY MINUTES.
Then Sheryl said
"Maybe they are at the secondary dance studio."
OH SNAP.
Yeah they were there.
The rest of the lesson was awful.
Not that we got scolded.
I just have two left feet and Sheryl and I missed a whole 30 minutes of lesson.
haha it's actually quite hilarious that we got lost in a place we spend a third of our lives for the past six years in.
But it was great getting lost with Sheryl.

All the IVP people went off so I sat next to Anthea.
The dying species of bloggers.
We were just trolling throughout math, history and err, reproduction education.
It was fun.
She is a very rare person who can understand lots of things.
In an extremely good way.
Private joke: ilyxc!!!!:)))))))

I know this post is really long.
I hate reading long posts on other people's blog.
But thanks for sticking here til the end.

2011-09-23T03:49:00.001-07:00

Haha I noticed my blog is super emo.
I only come here when I'm sad I guess.
Maybe a happier post is good for the soul of the writer.
And maybe if you are reading this.

I doubt anyone would read this.
I mean, who wants to read about me spilling out sorrows.
That kinda sucks.

I'm not saying I won't be emo anymore.
But I know, I have a different.. Perspective.
I saw it on Thursday.

Hollywood always has these moments, when their character has this LIGHTBULB moment.
But no.This one was like.. Something creeping up.
And you see that someone so passionate when that person talks there is this spark in their eyes..
It kinda got to me.

No, I'm not in love.
But I wonder why this took me four years to understand.

2011-09-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

today's iso was a pretty good session considering all the rubbish ones we had.

i think i messed up chinese oral.
my sentences were not coherent.

i am torn between two worlds.

i am scared.
scared of what is going to happen.
scared of tomorrow.
scared of a few months time.
just really afraid of the future.

i need sleep.

2011-09-12T07:17:00.001-07:00

It's funny because i only go to blogger when I'm sad.

Then write sad stuff and try to cheer myself up here.

Which is kinda sad.

You know, because nobody reads it anyway.

Just somewhere to dispose of my thoughts.

I guess I used to be all 'hoped up'

and I didn't really think what I should do.

So many things I should do.

Get my life in order.

Control your fingers.

Think.

Take deep breaths.

And I'm trying to go in that direction.

I am.

But I am so tired. I'm so exhausted.

But no.

Humans have this stubborn fighting spirit in them.

They have this stubborn hope light in them.

And i want to stop.

Everything would be so easy.

No challenge, nothing to look forward to.

No discouragement, no victory.

But no

Every night i just kinda know

things will be on my side one day.

and i know.

i have to move on now.

no time to regret.

like what i have been doing unconsciously the past year.

if only this

if only that

no.

you will fight.

because you are a fighter.

you will outdo myself

because comparisons are bogus.

you will work

you will be strong

come onnnnnnnn

have the courage to move on.